An abandoned garden

Imaginary date

* * *

it’s almost dark…
I doubt-
maybe it’s me who falls apart-
the light has let itself be eroded by shadows
of rigid apple trees.
You may have understood –
I’m standing in an abandoned garden
I’m standing still and bare feet
Is it a date? or did I confuse the planet?
I close my eyes to maybe hear someone
emerging from the darkness
but no one does… no signs of human presence
I only feel the forest spirits surrounding me
and singing in their quiet whisper
from rolling clouds of mist
the white in blue like cotton ribbons
running in between my naked knees
distortions born in flood of tears
is it the darkness painful to my eyes?
or is it me who is afraid?
I feel the fingers of the wind
embarrassingly tracing
the edges of my skin
it leaks like driest sand
and shivers near by
Is it a painful sweetness of imaginary date?
or is it a cruel realization of the endless loneliness?
the moment stopped and I
have already forgotten
that returning
could have been the only way to sanity
my head is spinning–
I feel like sleeping
in the aroma of flowers entering the night-
and could it be romantic love I feel?
or is it just a memory of all the times,
I can not count,
I thought I fell apart?
is it for you i fell? – your absence claims
that not for you – I fell for someone else
from a poetic world
of my insatiable imagination-
a human of extraordinary type
and maybe this someone, I dreamed,
could have been the one
to find me lost…
to be the presence in the darkness and the mist
to be the blending shadow of the apple trees,
the sweet aroma emerging from the wind,
the floor of grass and flowers turning into the swing
and taking me away from here
to sparkling green, reviving spring –
the spring of everything I had no chance to feel –
I dreamed,

but you have found some mercy
to reach for me,
to give your hand
and guide me out of blindness
of my own, as you would say,
‘naive’ imagination,
in which I’ve almost drowned

***